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Prostate Play 101

By Julia McKinlay

Let’s cut to the chase, are you stimulating the prostate? If you are, congratulations. If not, I’m here to tell you… you should be.

This little gland may be small but it sure is mighty and should not be underestimated. This will be your guide to understanding prostate play and all the sexual and general health benefits that come along with it. You’re about to be a P-spot expert!

First off, let's debunk a common myth: interest in anal pleasure and prostate stimulation isn’t just for the LGBTQIA+ community. While there is a long history of stigmatizing straight men for liking butt stuff, prostate pleasure is purely anatomical. Let’s celebrate this desire for pleasure and self exploration!

Now that we have that out of the way, let's get into it.

What is the prostate and where to find it?

The prostate is a small, soft, walnut sized organ that is part of the male reproductive system. It sits deep in the pelvis between the penis and bladder and is is on the other side of the rectum. You can find it by placing a finger into the rectum and curling the fingertip towards the front of the body (think the same “come hither” motion that is used on the g-spot). When aroused, the prostate swells as it fills with fluid that is released during ejaculation. So it may be more easily identified when some familiar pleasure is added into the mix.

How does it feel?

The short answer is, good. The P-spot can be compared to the G-spot for vulva owners. Stimulating the prostate leads to more powerful orgasms as well as more intense sexual interplay as it activates deep pelvic floor and sphincter muscles during climax.

Just like G-spot play, many people enjoy other forms of stimulation simultaneously (ie. clit stem paired with penetration). So try pairing prostate play with penis stimulation for bigger more expansive orgasms.

Where to start?

As with all forms of butt stuff, it’s a process.

1. Prep the field. Clean your external bootyhole with soap and water, as well as going to the bathroom and expelling any waste. You can also try a douche or enema to help you prep.

2. Relax. These are tight muscles, so you’re gonna need to relax them. Best way to do that? Foreplay! Anything from kissing, to oral sex, to PIV sex. And consider some external booty play.

3. LUBE. Whether you’re starting small with fingers or working up to bigger objects, lube is always your friend.

4. Slow and steady. Even if you’ve done all the prep, it could take time to get comfy. So be patient with yourself and/or your partner and keep an open line of communication to make sure everyone is having a good time.

5. Find the P-spot. Before you deep dive into butt play, do some exploration and make sure you can identify the prostate. Once you’re familiar with the geography and key pleasure points then you can start to have a little more fun with it :)

6. Start small. Starting out with fingers is a great step! As you get more comfortable you can work your way up to experimenting with an Anal Training Kit, vibrating toys, anal beads, butt plugs, and beyond!

So there you have it. You're now ready to begin your journey into the world of prostate play! 

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