17 women share what they think about when they masturbate

By Suzannah Weiss

Movies, music and (most) mainstream porn typically depict women as stars in someone else’s sexual fantasy, so it’s not often that we learn what they themselves fantasize about. But many women have extremely rich fantasy lives, and these often come out when they’re masturbating.

For many people, masturbation is a time where you have permission to go off into your own fantasy world, without any obligation to explain what you’re thinking about, justify it, or even make it make sense. For this reason, it can lead to some unexpected, illogical, and outright bizarre thoughts.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that. God knows why we think about certain things when we masturbate, but the beauty of fantasy is that there are no rules whatsoever. If you thought you were alone in having dirty or taboo mid-masturbation musings, these women will show you that you’re in good company. 

Ashley, 23 

“Either previous sex that I've had with my boyfriend or the sex I want to have with my husband.”

Rhiannon, 26 

“I tend to be turned on by things that are taboo, often involving power dynamics: father figures, teachers, doctors, bosses, public/sneaky sex. I think I'm turned on by the idea that these people are letting their primal urges take complete control over their bodies, to the exclusion of any logical considerations. Those are my fantasies, but I also spend at least half the time thinking about actual sex that I've had with people in the past.”

Polly, 37 

“The porn I’m watching.”

Kim, 27 

“BDSM scenarios; always about strangers, not people I know.”

Nicole, 44 

“Hate to say it but being forced, being so physically desired that a man or two men are forcing themselves on me, into me — my mouth and vagina.”

Jennie, 33 

“My spouse or a threesome (the more hands the better!).”

Evangeline, 36 

“Male-female domination fantasies with oral and vaginal penetration. Sometimes, I’m the woman, sometimes the man, sometimes watching from third-person POV. Voyeuristic stuff, like a dude secretly masturbating while watching a couple have sex. Sometimes rough male-male sex, although almost always from third person POV.”

Ali, 36  

“Memories of good sex, fantasies about sex with other people and/or fictional characters, fantasies about other people or fictional characters having sex.” 

Gigi, 25 

“An old professor that annoyed me.”

Tammy, 39 

“Realistic sex scenes from movies/porn.”

Jessica, 33 

“The last guy I dated. Usually fantasize about his cock, or just him fucking me. Always him though.”

Carissa, 23 

“I consider myself heterosexual, but I think about women having sex when I masturbate.”

Sasha, 33 

“The fact that I am naked.”

Dana, 29 

“When I’m single, whoever I’m dating at the time because I’m anxious to see them again. When I’m not single, women. I’m straight.”

Sloane, 28 

“Honestly? What erotica would classify as ‘nonconsent/reluctance.’ As a sexual assault survivor, being able to rewire my brain as being in control of situations like the one I was assaulted in is empowering and important.”

Jeanette, 39 

“I’m visual so I’m 99.9 % watching porn while masturbating. I like all types of porn and mostly pretend I’m the girl or the guy (or whomever depending on if it’s gay or straight porn) while watching. Although the best session was when my battery died and I thought about fucking this shy awkward former (female) coworker.”

Ana, 22 

“I watch bondage porn even though I don’t have the desire for most of what goes on in it to happen to me in real life.”

Stay in the loop, bbOur top stories delivered to your inbox weekly