I went to a women-only sex party that celebrates bi-curiosity and it was magical
“GIRLS ARE CREATURES OF CURIOSITY”
- Skirt Club website marquee
For those who aren’t in the know yet, Skirt Club is the exclusive underground community that hosts women-only sex parties all around the world.
While attending “play parties” with a male ex, Skirt Club founder Genevieve LeJeune felt that her needs as a woman who also enjoys the company of women weren’t being met. After being corralled into threesomes with other women where the emphasis was much more on her partner’s pleasure than hers, she decided that she wanted to explore her girls-only fantasies without an obstructive male gaze.
“Sexual empowerment is not about turning your boyfriend on with another girl,” says Genevieve. (Unless, of course, that's what gets you going then, by all means, you keep doing you because at the end of the day…) “It’s about doing what excites you.”
And to that, I say, “Amen, sisterfriend.”
Genevieve soon realized that there was a severe lack of options for women who want to play with each other. So she filled the void herself.
In 2013, she threw the first ever Skirt Club party in London. Since then, Skirt Club has skyrocketed to international superstardom. With parties happening literally all over the world—London to New York to Melbourne to Shanghai to a full-on weekend getaway in Ibiza this fall—Skirt Club has made a name for itself as the sexy ladies-only event that every self-respecting cosmopolitan city deserves.
Oh, tell me more…
Geared towards bi-curious and bisexual women, Skirt Club events are exclusive, members-only, private events that are held in changing, secret locations around the globe.
The rules are pretty simple:
- Members must be approved.
- Girls only. Leave your man at home, relay your stories on return.
- No cameras or photography.
- No strict dress code. (Members tend to be “effortlessly stylish” on their own.)
- “Be nice and be graceful.” Pushy and unwelcome advances are not tolerated.
Members, you say?
Though they don’t go into detail on their screening process, all potential members are vetted before they are welcomed into the Skirt Club fold by providing their age, photo, and general sexual preference.
The typical member is an intelligent, ambitious, thrill-seeking babe somewhere between the age of 21 and 49. She might be in a relationship with a male partner, or she might not. Above all, she is deemed to be a “high achiever and risk taker” looking to explore her lady-loving tendencies in a fun, consensual environment.
The predominantly heterosexual member pool has earned some flack from the queer community though. They have been accused of being exclusionary, elitist, and a glorified non-committal college-style foray into lesbianism. Essentially, they say that Skirt Club isn’t “queer” enough for a club promoting arguably queer activity.
I know, I have a hard time with this too. Because first of all, it’s a (semi-) secret club. It’s going to be a little selective by nature. And secondly, it’s simply not fair to chalk anyone’s idea of a good time up to wishy-washy trend-chasing behavior.
But I’m coming at this as a femme-presenting bisexual woman who has met similar obstacles when exploring my penchant for other women. Heterosexual men may fetishize the slutty bisexual female unicorn, using her as leverage for threesomes with other women; homosexual women might call her a fraud for not fully committing to the clam. As a result, you’ll meet many a bisexual woman who simply opts not to identify obviously as such in order to circumvent these prejudices.
Don’t get me wrong. I love men and everything that comes along with loving them. And I love getting mixed up with men and women at the same time. But sometimes I don’t want all my food to mix on my plate. And I think that people should be allowed to eat their meal however they damn well please.
Which is precisely why I went to a Skirt Club party in the first place.
So what happens at these shindigs?
Once my membership was approved, I got set up for my very first party. Though I acquired my ticket a few weeks in advance, it wasn’t until the day or two before the event that I received the address of the party’s secret location—for me, this was a private luxury penthouse in Manhattan.
I was on my own and wouldn’t know anyone else attending, so was a little nervous at first. But the lovely hostesses posted to greet guests played their role well. A chatty dark-haired girl took me into the elevator and up to the penthouse where she passed me off to a stunning soft-spoken woman who warmly welcomed me and tied a key around my wrist. (I would later come to realize that this woman was Genevieve herself).
The key denoted my first-timer status to everyone else in the room. Not only did this help veteran members to approach with kind words of encouragement, but it also gave the newbies a chance to see just how many others were in the same boat and connect over their first-time jitters. The number of keys nearly outnumbered the bare wrists and that in and of itself provided solace; as a socially anxious introvert, this system definitely worked to soothe some of my nerves.
(The champagne and fancy cocktails that flowed freely all night long helped a bit too.)
We had time to mix and mingle as the few dozen guests slowly trickled in. I had been concerned that perhaps my attire wouldn’t be “sex party-appropriate” enough, but I was pleased to find out that I wasn’t at all out of place in my little black dress. When cocktail hour was up, we gathered around the Skirt Club team in the centre of the room to kick off the night officially.
Genevieve’s welcoming address raised all the key points. She talked a little about the Skirt Club’s raison-d’être, her motivations that resulted in all of us being there in that room with her that night of “uninhibited living." She walked us through the little program for the evening, which would include special erotically-inclined entertainment and scandalous ice-breaker games. She stressed the importance of consent and safe sexual practices when engaging with other guests. She added that there was no pressure on what extent you involve yourself with the activities throughout the night; whether you prefer to play the quiet voyeur or to dive headfirst into the debauchery is completely up to you because Skirt Club is a place for attendees to face opportunities, not judgments. “No consequences, no questions.” Just safe, consensual experimentation and exploration.
So did you, like… you know… experiment and explore?
I’ll leave that up to your imagination. ;)
Yes, Skirt Club events are very erotically-charged and equally sex-positive. Members are free to explore their sexuality with and around each other to whatever extent they feel comfortable. But it merits mentioning that Genevieve’s vision goes well beyond the sex stuff. Skirt Club is meant to be a space for women to tap into their power (sexual and otherwise), to take risks and feel the effects of that boldness.
What stood out the most to me, as she spoke, was when she assured us that we would be able to tackle anything back in the office on Monday morning because nothing in that boardroom could ever compare to the bold moves we made to be in attendance that night.
Because there is so much power in choice. And simply by choosing to attend a Skirt Club party, you really feel it.
Yeah, Girl Power!
Since the dawn of humanity, women have gathered with and for each other; the web of sisterhood breathes life into any well-rounded community. But as we have grown more and more isolated in recent times, the opportunities for women to come together have all but disappeared, diluting the collective feminine energy. Jane Fonda said that “female friendships are just a hop to our sisterhood and sisterhood can be a very powerful force.” I believe this power is amplified astronomically when you have a bunch of women come together to, well… come together.
Not only does Skirt Club provide a unique communal space for women, but it gives us permission to be bold. To choose to discover, claim, and own our authentic sexual selves with conscious abandon. To alchemize our sexual energy to a seriously raw and potent form of female empowerment.
If I wasn’t already a member, the only thing left to say would be, “Sign me up!”