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Sex

What your favorite sex position says about you

By Maya Khamala

You can tell a lot about someone from the way they dress, act, eat, speak, and dance—yes, dance. But I betcha didn’t know your favorite sex position can also reveal a lot more about you than you think. While your go-to may just be the position that makes you cum the hardest, or makes you feel secure—on another level, said position runs a lot deeper than simple practical considerations. That’s right, friends: your preferred sex position can actually speak volumes about your personality—both in and outta the sack.

Disclaimer: it should go without saying that not every position means the same thing to everyone! My own kinky but rather heteronormative sexuality differs from those with wildly different proclivities, for instance. Yet even within the hetero world, there is room for a lot of surprisingly different experiences of the same positions. Also, one’s fave position can vary a lot from partner to partner, and this can speak volumes about the relationship itself.

Now that that’s all out there, let’s get down to it, shall we? Here's some whimsy-inspired food for thought on what your favorite sex position might be saying about your pretty little personality:

Missionary (with you on the bottom)

It’s commonly believed that the term “missionary” is connected to the legacy of Christian missionaries who encouraged the position in new converts as it was more civilized and less animalistic (plus the man was always on top, yey). Then again, In Shakespeare's Othello, the position was referred to as the “the beast with two backs,” which sounds a lot more fun to me. Ultimately, the missionary position is considered traditional and predictable, and is therefore decried by many an adventurer and revolutionary. But it also happens to be comfortable, and intimate, and who said adventuring had to involve contortions, am I right? Plus, in spite of everything, it’s still mad popular. If it’s your fave, you may be shy and lacking the confidence to display yourself more explicitly. Or you’re naturally submissive, or insecure about taking the lead. Or—if you're feeling desperate to have sex (it happens), missionary is usually the first position that cums to mind! On the plus side, missionary allows the partner on top to take the lead, while also promoting a feeling of connectedness (eye contact and kissing are easy). Unless your partner is insisting on missionary all the time (in which case they may have control issues), missionary as a go-to often means you two are close. So while your sex life might be a little dull at times, your love life's probably incredible.

Tip: try anal in missionary for a subversive take on tradition, or explore the eagle (AKA missionary with your legs in the air).

Cowgirl (AKA cowhuman)

You might leave your (cowgirl) hat on in this position, as an inspiration for galloping toward ecstasy. If this is your fave position, chances are you’re sexually confident, savvy, and comfortable with grabbing hold of the reins. You may even like this position as a way of dominating the shit out of your partner. You get to hold onto the intimate kissing and eye contact associated with missionary (should you so choose), while taking more control of the flow, of the depth of penetration, the speed, the angle, the stimulation of your clit. If your partner prefers this position too, chances are they’re ‘visual,’ and love to see you riding without inhibition—jiggling and teasing with abandon. You may be an exhibitionist who loves nothing more than being watched. If cowgirl is your favorite way to ride, you’re at ease with your body and comfortable with your partner.

Tip: explore reverse cowgirl for a change of perspective and all-new sensations, baby.

Doggy-style

Doggy style is a lot less intimate for most couples as there is no eye contact. It facilitates deeper penetration for men, and some women find it’s the best way to achieve G-spot stimulation. Not to mention, your partner can (and should) reach around to provide extra clit love. If doggy-style is your jam, you’re far from insecure and you pride yourself on knowing how to arouse your lover—the lack of reassuring eye contact does nothing to slow you down or cause any doubt—plus, the exhibitionist in you loves that your partner gets a full view of your ass and pussy. You see sex as a way to impress, and chances are you like to practice your twerking. This is also the perfect position for indulging in fantasies that don't involve your partner—because hell, unless there’s a mirror in front of you (also a hot AF idea), your partner won’t get to see what your face is doing. Then again, if this is the position you fall into most frequently, chances are your focus is lust-based at the expense of actual intimacy. You may have the tendency to keep your true feelings under lock and key. And, finally, since most men finish more quickly in this position, you might not like sex to last too long—if this is the case, asking yourself why is always a good start.

Tip: try flat doggy-style to explore a variation that affords you less control and arguably, more skin-on-skin intimacy.

Spooning

Might as well face it, you’re addicted to spooning (AKA Sunday morning sex). Having sex while spooning can be extremely comforting and loving as it allows you to quite literally be held by your partner. If this is your favorite position, you love the surrender involved in sex, but you don't relinquish control completely, as the depth of penetration can be switched up by moving your legs around, and your partner isn’t weighing or pinning you down. You also love the intimacy of this full-body hug-with-benefits. What's better than cuddling and having sex at the same time? Nothing, far as you’re concerned. You’re a hopeless romantic at heart, and although you like to cum with the best of 'em, orgasm is not your main focus—closeness is. You like to relax into sex, take it slow, and express your naughty side by grinding your ass backwards onto your partner’s cock (or strap-on).

Tip: try the linguini on for size to explore a more intertwined approach—and one that affords your partner a better view.

69

The 69 position is old enough to have been featured in the Kamasutra, so I dare say this is a timeless classic. And yes, oral sex counts as sex too. If 69ing is your absolute fave thing, you believe in equal give and take, and you don’t love being watched while you work it. If you prefer to be the top of the 69, your body-confidence is very high, and you like leading the charge. If you prefer being underneath, you may have insecurities about how you look when gravity has its say—or—if you’re like me, you love to deepthroat and 69ing from underneath is an uber kinky way of fueling the fantasy of being with 2 men at once: your pussy’s getting attention, and your throat is full too—hello. All that said, refusing to enjoy anything but 69ing can mean difficulty only receiving, or only giving. Plus, if you're only ever face-to-face with each other’s, um, family jewels, sex can get impersonal fast.

Tip: try sideways 69 for an easier go at reaching everything while giving your knees and elbows a break. You also get to rest your head on your lover’s thigh, sigh.

Bottom line: sex is a many-splendored thing. The challenge is to relax into it, and not be afraid of trying new things while at the same time not feeling pressured into anything that really doesn’t speak to you. Like most things, the art of getting it on is a fine balance, to be explored exuberantly with a partner that lights your fire and listens when you share your thoughts.

Mind-blowing sex for all! <3

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