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How to have orgasms during partnerned sex

By Ashley Cobb

Most vulva owners can make themselves orgasm in under ten minutes, however when it comes to partnered sex it’s a becomes a slighty different story. A recent study found that 39% of women said they always orgasm when they masturbate, compared to 6% during sex. There are a million different factors that can make reaching orgasm difficult — the wrong type of stimulation, lack of information, insufficient communication, bad positioning, or not giving yourself enough time, etc. 

Here are six tips to make sure you reach orgasms during partnered sex:

Concentrate on Your Breathing

Deeper breathing can achieve deeper, stronger and longer-lasting orgasms. Open your mouth and take deep belly breaths as you feel pleasure building. There's no targeted amount of time to aim for—the key is to breathe deeply through your diaphragm instead of taking shallow inhales and exhales through your chest. When your orgasm begins, try your best to continue the breath and relax your entire body into it. This allows the waves of sensation to travel through the nerves in your entire body so you experience a full-body orgasm.

Get in Touch With Your Body

Another way to have orgasms is by paying attention to what kind of touch gives the most pleasure, then tell or show your partner what you like. Your body is covered in highly sensitive areas you may never have even thought to explore such as shoulders, lower back, calves, bottom of feet and forearm. Also explore the other common erogenous zones or areas that are heightened sensitivity and generate a sexual response when stimulated.

Play With Toys

Using sex toys, such as vibrators, can be a fun and useful way to help partners reach orgasm. Toys take the pressure off which can help open all kinds of doors to orgasming with your partner in general. It's actually a scientific fact that vibrators enhance sexual satisfaction, so between toys and your partner, you're setting yourself up for an intense situation that will be full of more orgasms than you'd probably get if it was just you and your partner. 

Try Different Positions

Sometimes, just breaking your usual routine increases your pleasure and leads to better orgasms. If you normally have sex on your back, flip over onto your stomach to discover new sensations. Mixing things up and trying new positions can help you have a better orgasm and boost both you and your partner's sex drive, especially if your libido is low and you're in a dry spell. Keep experimenting to figure out what works best for you and your partner.

Do Your Kegels.

The pelvic floor muscles are the most important muscles many women forget to exercise. Kegels give your pelvic floor a workout, which can potentially lead to better orgasms. Exercising the muscles that surround the vagina — squeezing or contracting them — helps bring blood to the pelvic floor and build arousal. Women who are able to contract and relax these pubococcygeal (PC) muscles can also increase their male partner’s pleasure and help bring him to orgasm. Men, too, can practice PC muscle exercises to increase the intensity of their orgasms and have better erections.

Don't Try to Have an Orgasm

Focus is a critical element in experiencing an orgasm, so it might sound counterproductive to say stop trying to orgasm if you want to have better orgasms-- but it’s really that simple. When the anticipation of orgasm becomes the primary focus of sex, it’s hard to realize the pleasure your body is actually experiencing. Being in the moment increases arousal, instead of focusing on what you want to feel at the end, focus on what you're feeling at the moment. Close your eyes, and focus on the sensations you are having.  

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