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Culture

What does your favorite Bellesa merch say about you?

By Maya Khamala

The way we choose to present ourselves in this world can speak volumes about who we are and what we stand for. While there’s no denying that what we actually do is everything, sometimes the right attire can really help to drive home the splashiest and most subversive of statements—even when you’re taking a break from actually trying to sexually educate people (‘cuz that shit is tiring—we all know it). I’m talking about the slogans we wear on T-shirts and sweaters—the literal words we emblazon our bodies with—and what those say about us.

Let’s have a look at a few of the slogans on Bellesa's most popular merch, shall we? Read on for a trenchant breakdown of what your fave one says about you!

Tacos, Orgasms, Social Justice

This black on white classic tee calmly lists off your favorite things, one on each line: Tacos, Orgasms, Social Justice, ultimately laying bare all your most pressing priorities in life. Who needs a dating profile with garb like this, I ask? If this tee’s your jam, you have a wacky sense of humor that your friends can get behind, a healthy appetite, and a strong drive to fight the good fight. The best part is, tacos are the perfect fuel for lovers and fighters like yourself, so eat up.

bras suck.

Bellesa launched the Bras Suck Tee to celebrate National No Bra Day in 2018, with 10% of sales going to breast cancer research. Although the bra burning feminists of the 1960s may seem a distant memory inside a dream, make no mistake: for anyone who doesn’t want/need the extra support, this number's all about nipple freedom, baby. If you’re here for this, you’re a trailblazing champion of equality, and are bold enough to wear it braless, pronounced nipples and all. As though to add to its subversive quality, this tee opts for both lowercase letters and punctuation—full stop. For a warm weather version, check out the playful Brawless & Flawless crewneck, for days when you woke up like this. 

Close the Orgasm Gap

At this point, most of us have heard talk of the much maligned orgasm gap, and all the injustices of the world that prop it up (if we haven’t experienced it ourselves). Although progress has most certainly been made to close said gap and draw women ever closer to the orgasmic bliss we deserve (and away from lopsided relationships with partners who don't care if we cum), there is still work to be done, don’tcha know. If Close the Orgasm Gap is part of your favorite outfit, you’re not afraid to ask for what you want (in bed, as in life), and you see bad sex as a social justice issue. Which, of course, it is.   

Hydrate & Masturbate

Hydrate & Masturbate comes in 2 styles: a T-shirt or Crewneck sweater, and it’s 1970s throwback font is bold and playful alike, with a dash of funk, just like you. If this one speaks to you, you’re not shy, and you don’t mince words when it comes to advocating for deeper, better pleasure and a higher quality of life. A healthy body is your first priority, and you know that the key to health and happiness is masturbating regularly—whilst staying well-hydrated and eating your vegetables. Real talk, you’re not afraid to get into a conversation with a perfect stranger about the benefits of rubbing one out.

No Fake Orgasms

Some of us have done the unthinkable, and for any number of misguided reasons, faked an orgasm! But that's no way to get yours, and that's no way to connect with your partner (let alone choose the right partner). If the No Fake Orgasms tee is for you, you're in a place where you’re very comfortable communicating your desires honestly, and you’re just as good as giving as you are at receiving. Yum. Strong communication and real, live, mind-shattering orgasms are where it’s at, and this is a truth you hold near and dear. You’re a role model, so be proud of that.

Ladylike As Fuck

The Ladylike AF Tee was launched in celebration of International Women’s Day (IWD). Appropriately and hella subversively, this sassy piece is pretty in pink while simultaneously challenging long outmoded notions of what it means to be “ladylike” by using decidedly “unladylike” language (curses, oh my!), and a decidedly “unladylike" hand gesture (flipping the world the bird). If you’ve got one in your closet, you’re uninhibited, unapologetic, and not afraid of being construed as ‘overly sexual,’ ‘loud,’ or ‘too opinionated.’ In short, you’re ladylike as fuck.

Clit It or Quit It

Clit It or Quit It is a command unto itself, and while this tee’s bright and playful (complete with a stylized rainbow), it also serves to makes a statement—something you're not afraid of doing. If you dig this tee, a couple of things are true: you ask for what you need sexually, and you never hesitate to quite literally kick someone out of your bed (and your life) if they're not stepping up to do you right. You have zero tolerance for selfish lovers, but any lover you do take on is one lucky animal.

Nice Guys Finish Last

The Nice Guys Finish Last crewneck may have an understated, blue and pink pastel-colored look about it, but anyone who takes a second to check you out will notice the vibrator and the stars that surround it, and the slogan itself immediately takes on meaning. If you're donning this integral message, you're very protective of your time, space, and energy, and won't give your attention to just anyone. You wear this statement tall and proud as a way reminding others that they shouldn’t settle out of a fear of being alone, and as a sway of filtering out would-be partners that wouldn’t stand a chance with you anyway. Double whammy.

It’s a Vibe

The It’s a Vibe crewneck shows a hand holding a vibrator while locked into that timeless old hand gesture: the ‘rock on' sign, AKA devil horns. If this is the one for you, you’re a pro at going with the flow, and even better at creating the flow you want to follow. You’ve got a groovy side, and your friends likely see you as independent and even a little eccentric—in the best way possible. You seize any opportunity to champion pleasure, and you're committed to cutting out anyone who drains your energy in favor of a life of generosity and ease. Keep on honing the art of self-love; you’re so good at it already.

Bellesa

Wearing the beyond-comfy double-lined Bellesa hoodie (or its crewneck style in baby blue) makes you part of the inimitable Bellesa squad, which means you stand for all of the above and more. You may not always feel like wearing your beliefs on your sleeve, but you've got depth, imagination, and are willing to engage anyone who notices the word written cross your chest and is already in the know, or happens to think you're hot AF and feels they can successfully land a slogan-based icebreaker. Although you’re careful about who you let into your world, once you make a choice, it’s almost always star quality.

Here’s to dressing for the change we want to see! One love y’all. <3

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