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10 ways to spice up Valentine's Day when you’re single

By Maya Khamala

Valentine’s Day—it’s the most romantic day of the year, right? For some, maybe, especially if you’re in a committed couple, falling in love, or excited by a new crush. But for others—even those in happy relationships—the occasion is gag-worthy. Really, like most things, it’s all a matter of personal preference. 

That said, if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, it’s totally normal to feel a tad lonely, grumpy, and/or tired of it all. Especially as we head into year 3 of the pandemic, hello. Get one thing straight, though: there ain’t nothing wrong with being single on Valentine’s Day—or any day.

Here I offer you 10 steamy ways to spice up good ol’ V-Day when you’re single, horny, (and potentially sullen).

1. Flirt with your online crush

I’m gonna jump right in here and say that while being single is something we all need to be at various times in our lives, you’ve got needs. Whether you’re looking for love or simply looking for some attention (and maybe even some action), own it. If you’re one of the rare holdouts who has yet to install Tinder or any of the kajillion other dating sites/apps—but you secretly want to—go ahead and give it a try already. Don’t take it too seriously, but at the very least, see what’s out there. If you’re already well accustomed to the circus that is online dating and you’ve managed to narrow your roster down to a love interest or two, I say flirt the night away via phone, chat, or—if you trust them—lustier video displays.

2. Pleasure yourself

You don’t need a hot date to get lucky on Valentine’s Day—or ever. Go ahead, up the ante with a new toy. Pleasure is yours to harness 365 days a year, after all. So revamp that toy chest and prepare to let the good times roll, babe. Whether you’re in need of some hot vibes, some dildo delights, or some anal adventuring, simply break out your fave toy and rock your way to V-Day bliss. Hell, rock your way to everyday bliss.

3. Love yourself

Self-love can take many forms. Go ahead and pamper yourself with a face mask, DIY mani-pedi, a relaxing bath, candles, incense, relaxing music—whatever calls you. Or, Covid allowing, head to a local spa and schedule a massage. Or, cook yourself some food that nourishes your soul—whatever that means to you. Deep down, you know what you need. And/or, if there’s something that you've been dying to get, but have been too afraid to splurge on, do it. Whatever you do, treat yo’self. 

4. Watch a steamy movie (or three)

Maybe it’s high time you planned a themed movie night for yourself. Maybe it’s romantic westerns, Paris in the 1920s, rom-coms of the 1980s, rom-drams of the 1990s, or just movies that make you want to touch yourself (i.e. The Secretary, or Body Heat). Or, pandemic willing, you can head on over to your local theater and take in some of the latest flicks with the rest of the crowd.

5. Write a letter to your ex and burn it

If you’re still coping with some leftover rage or heartbreak, do yourself a favor and process it in an intentional way this V-Day. Write a letter to your ex with good old-fashioned pen and paper, running through any and all unfinished business stirring in your mind, and then burn that shit. This can be incredibly therapeutic. Love isn’t all chocolate and flowers. Sometimes, you just gotta let it burn so something new can grow in its place.

6. Learn your love language

Ever heard of love languages? The term has really grown in popularity in recent years. In essence, your love language is how you prefer to give and receive affection from others (romantic or otherwise). Pick up Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages and commit to learning a bit more about how you work. Knowing your love language is a great way to gain a deeper understanding of what will actually make you happy and satisfied in a relationship.

7. Unplug for a day

Social media is everything, yes. But it can also be addictive, and toxic. It has the power to make even the most confident and independent people compare themselves to others. V-Day is a great time for an annual unplug if you ask me, and a great way to avoid the bombardment of mind-meltingly lovey posts. Do one better and take a hike, a walk in a park, or just stand outside and breathe some fresh air. Connecting with nature (however you can) can do wonders to ground you and give you a fresh perspective.

8. Get creative

Whether it’s an old painting you never finished, a novel you haven’t had time to work on, or a piano that taunts you as you pass it by, un-retire that shit and make a date with your inner fire, your creativity. Need to start things off with a less direct line to your creative capacity? There’s an adult coloring book for that. Or maybe try this Jason Momoa one. After all, he’s single now too. You two have something in common.

9. Make Valentines, and send ‘em out

Giving actual, physical valentines is not just for little kids. After all, there’s no joy like getting Valentine's Day cards from your friends. Plus, if you’re stuck for ways to harness that aforementioned creativity, this one’s pretty perfect. Why not channel your affection into making some cute ’n flirty Valentines cards for everyone you love? Love, after all, tends to have a boomerang effect. And, if you have a crush, you might even send one their way too—whether anonymously…or not. YOLO, baby. 

10. Throw an Anti-Valentine's Day party

There’s no law against anti-Valentine’s Day parties. Chances are you're not the only single person you know, so why not recruit the single people in your life (pandemic allowing) and get together for some wine, some conversation, and some stories of perpetual singledom? Celebrate being single together. And, if you happen to be on the prowl, be sure to invite any (single) love interests as well!

Bottom line: every day is for every one of us. So seize love this V-Day by doing justice to the love in your life: give it and get it in anyway you feel inspired to. Because that’s the stuff of life.  

One love! <3

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