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Yoni massage 101

By Maya Khamala

Fortunately, we’re living a time, where—more and more—women are seeking new and deeper ways to experience their own pleasure. Although there’s still a long way to go to close the ultra-gendered orgasm and masturbation gaps, progress is relentless, baby. 

Enter Yoni massage, AKA female genital massage. You heard it here first: although our world is still dominated by erotic massage parlors offering “Rub ’n Tug” services to a strictly male clientele, that’s changing.

What exactly is a Yoni massage?

The history of Yoni massage is closely linked to that of Tantric sex. While Tantra is an ancient Indian tradition of beliefs, meditation, and rituals dating back to the 5th century, Tantric sex as we understand it in the Western world is wholly focused on the sexual aspect of these philosophies. ’Yoni’ is the Sanskrit word for vagina, akin to ‘sacred portal.'

Whether you want to give yourself a Yoni massage, give your partner one, and/or visit an erotic massage parlor and get one from a pro, know that Yoni massage is all about prolonging arousal and making it feel better, deeper, sweeter. While the focus of Yoni massage is not climax (the journey is most certainly the destination in Tantric practice), orgasm is generally understood as a big, shiny bonus.

Yoni massage prep

Whether performing a Yoni massage on your partner or yourself, here are a few tips to help you set the stage.

Set the vibe. Create a welcoming atmosphere with a mind to helping your mind and body relax and let go. Light candles and incense or put on soothing music. Make sure the room’s not too cold or hot. Find a comfortable, private area with enough space to move freely. Finally, make sure you (and your partner, if applicable) are recently showered or bathed, and that your fingernails are trimmed—to avoid any untoward sensations.

Yoni oil (optional). Many prefer to explore Yoni massage using oil. It’s extra pleasant, as it allows hands to glide over skin with delicious ease—while simultaneously moisturizing and replenishing. If you do use an oil, be careful what you use, as you may be touching yourself internally as well. It’s always smart tom perform a spot test first. Consider making a homemade Yoni Oil using carrier oils like coconut or jojoba oil, and adding a couple drops of your fave essential oil. You might also use a silicone-based lube—they tend to be slick and long-lasting.

Breathe. Traditional Yoni massage is a spiritual practice, so taking 5 minutes before you begin to breathe meditatively and clear your mind is key. This will help you to let go of both mental and physical tension, paving the way for a stronger connection with yourself or your partner. 

If with a partner, perform the following breathwork face to face and in sync. 

- Sit upright. 

- Exhale deeply, focusing your energy on your belly. 

- Close your mouth and inhale softly through your nose. 

- Hold this breath for 7 seconds.

- Exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds. 

- Repeat 3 more times.

Yoni massage techniques.

By now you’re ready to give/receive a Yoni massage.

Note: the following instructional is written for someone experimenting solo, but everything included here also applies to giving a partner massage.

Hot tip: penetration is not a requirement. The primary focus is on the other areas of the vagina, the goal being to increase blood flow to its countless nerve endings. If you do penetrate, work up to it very slowly (and always ask consent if giving the massage to a partner, of course). 

First, warm up. Most yoni massages include breast and nipple stimulation. Slide your hands around and over your breasts, and downward to include your belly. Caress your hips, thighs, and knees. Intermittently switch up your level of touch from light to intense. Maybe pull and pinch your nipples, letting your hands explore. 

Circling. This is all about creating circles. Start by slowly and gently massaging around your clit, drawing sensation to the area but not directly. Different people have different levels of sensitivity, so experiment. Vary the size of the circles you make, starting with large circles further away from your clit, going smaller as you get closer.

Pushing & pulling. This technique is a bit more intense. Place a finger on either side of the clitoral hood, using a ‘push and pull’ technique to reveal and conceal the tip in turn. If it helps, think of the tip of your clit as similar to the tip of a penis.

Tugging & rolling. Place a finger on either side of your clit and tug very lightly. Or roll it gently between your fingers. This technique also works for your labia. Simply slide your fingers slowly back and forth along each lip. You might try starting with the outer areas before moving further in.

Tapping. Using one or more fingers, tap on your clitoris. Experiment with different rhythms to see how they feel. If direct tapping is too intense, tap on either side of your clit instead.

G-spot massage. If you're ready to venture inside, it’s g-spot time. This ultra- sensitive spongey spot is located on the front wall of your vagina, just a couple inches in. Hooking your fingers is a good way to stimulate your g-spot, but a g-spot toy will do the trick too. No matter what you use, experiment with tempo and feel free to integrate simultaneous clitoral massage.

Climax, or not. Orgasm is not the purpose of all yoni massages. In some authentic Tantric techniques, it is actually avoided. I say, do what you feel. The whole purpose here is to get you more deeply in touch with your pleasure centers, and that’s going to a look a bit different for everyone.

How to get a professional Yoni massage

If you want to experience a yoni massage without giving of your own energy, you have two options. Your partner can give you one, or you can find a professional practitioner.

Hiring a pro is admittedly much easier in larger cities and sex-positive locales, but not always. Start by searching “yoni massage” or “tantric massage” in your city. Understand that website descriptions may not list “yoni massage” directly as a service because—depending where you're located—it might be considered as sex work, which is illegal and/or frowned upon in some places. Keywords like “tantra,” “intimacy,” and “sensual” can clue you in to the actual services offered. Be ready to make a few calls to find out for sure. 

Note that some businesses offering this type of massage are solely focused on yoni massage while others offer yoni massage in addition to more traditional massages. Some practitioners are women, some are men, and some are non-binary. If gender matters to you, these are all factors worth paying attention to. Always be sure to check out unbiased (Google or Yelp) reviews as well for a better idea how competent they are and how comfortable their space is.

That concludes your crash course in Yoni massage! Know that in addition to being a positively divine experience geared at getting you out of your head and into your body, Yoni massage offers many more benefits for body and mind, including sexual empowerment, body confidence, and relief of vaginal tension/pain. Regular massages can promote more intense orgasms, and even improve your sexual relationships with others. What’s not to like?

Your journey begins here. <3

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