5 reasons to bring sex toys into your relationship

By Maya Khamala

Maybe your sex life is already supercharged, intimate, and as creative as a choose-your-own-adventure paperback. Maybe it’s not. Or maybe the reality of your down and dirty rapport with your person of choice inhabits a decidedly grey area.

No matter what your sex life feels like and what it aspires to be, sex toys have never before been available in such sassy, scintillating and subversive abundance. So even if you’ve never felt the need to add a toy chest to the mix and are doing just fine with skin-on-skin/manual/oral action, here are 5 reasons you may wanna change your mind and bring sex toys into your relationship.

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1. They take the pressure off both you and your partner

Not that you necessarily feel pressured. But, for one thing, it’s not always easy to orgasm, even if your partner is generous, skilled, and in-tune. According to the Kinsey Institute, 70% of women need some sort of clitoral stimulation in order to cum. Adding a vibrator to your arsenal can be a go-to, a back-up, or a fun and different way of reaching climax—one that doesn’t rely entirely on your partner's hands, mouth, or cock. Just saying. Sex is a many splendored thing. Not to mention, men too, can reach new heights of pleasure with the help of toys. Besides, there is no such thing as too many paths to orgasm, people.


2. Multiple orgasms are more attainable

Maybe it’s the vibration that’s getting you off, the internal g-spot stimulation, penetration, or all of the above. Or maybe it’s some wildly specific bang-on combo-stimulation of these or other erogenous zones that happen to embody all that is good and sacred in your universe. One thing’s for sure: batteries tend to outlast human energy, and they can infuse your tryst with fire, vigor, and energizer endurance even when you or your partner are tired, injured, or simply lazy (it happens). Life can get in the way, but toys are there to ensure you get your playtime anyway. Remember, all work and no play does not a successful sex life make.

3. They can improve your communication, and thus your intimacy level

When you decide upon sex toys with your partner, you kinda sorta totally have to talk about what you want: what you think would feel good, what you’d like done to you, what you’d like to do to them, and what you’re curious about trying. Talks like these necessitate some real opening up and some very sexy honesty. Communication = intimacy, in case you missed the memo. If you’ve struggled in the past to address your sexual desires with your partner, coming face-to-face with a dildo, a butt plug, or some silky rope you want to try on for size can really kickstart your heart and the conversation at hand.

4. Sex toys are the gateway to all your most lurid fantasies

Toys and props can open us up to role-play fantasies we didn’t even know we had. From your wide range of dildos, vibrators, and butt play toys to whipshandcuffs, candle wax, or whatever your cake may be, our imaginations are often triggered by the slightest of things. Why not finally play out that fantasy of submitting to a police officer, playing the tyrannical school teacher, or simply embracing power play as a concept more generally? There’s nothing like a great sex toy to help you and your partner experiment with the giving and taking of trust and power involved in domination and submission play. Who knows? A remote-controlled wearable vibrator could be just what the love doctor ordered.


5. Sex toy stigma is some bullshit worth socking it to

Although sex toy use is more common than ever before, outdated stigmas still abound in some circles. Whether it’s the idea that they’re only for (lonely) women, or that they somehow present competition for men (um, what?), or that people of any gender who happen to use them are somehow less virile/able, the bottom line is that these antiquated notions don’t hold any water (or lube!).

On the contrary, introducing sex toys into your relationship means adding spice, creativity, and communication to your most intimate dynamics, and last time I checked, that type of thing was really good for strengthening the bonds that embolden our hearts. Bonus: getting off memorably, and often.

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