When you're the last single in your friend group

By Priya Alika

Some days, it feels like you’re on a different schedule from everyone else. You’re still excited about dollar margarita Tuesdays, while your friends are figuring out the best childcare options in the city. Adulthood is complicated because we’re no longer all in the same boat, experiencing the same things at the same time- like being single. 

It’s not easy being single when all your friends are coupled up. You may feel as though you didn’t get some memo that everyone else did. But don’t stress – here’s what to do when you’re miserable about being the odd one out. 

Don’t spend too much time at couples’ dinners 

“Coming to our house for dinner? Same people as usual – John and Becky, Renee and Brad…” 

If all your friends have the same routine, or have fallen into a habit of having cozy dinners for six, it’s understandable that you might feel lonely going over to their house. After all, you’re the only single one there, watching everyone play Jenga and sip wine with their arms around each other. It’s enough to make you download Tinder for the tenth time. 

Don’t do it EVERY night. Make a promise to yourself that you’ll spend some of your free time doing other things. It can be scary and intimidating to pick up new habits – but that class at your gym does look really interesting, doesn’t it? (You’re also much more likely to meet new people that way.)

Don’t let your friends get away with being bad friends 

Here’s the terrible thing about people in a relationship. They tend to sometimes assume that single people don't have their own problems. Your friend will have no problem venting to you (for HOURS) about her fiancé who wants lamb instead of chicken at the wedding, but mysteriously forget that you have issues too. If you aren’t telling her juicy details about that steamy hookup you had last week, she doesn’t seem interested. Sigh. 

Don’t stay silent. Gently remind your friends that you’re a human too, and that you deserve to talk about your life even if you’re not seeing anyone right now. As good friends, they should understand that and be there for you. 

Remind yourself of the luxury of being single 

At some point down the line – nobody knows exactly when – you’re going to be in a relationship. Yes, just like all your currently coupled friends! You’re not going to stay single forever (even though it might feel like it). At some point, you’ll re-download Tinder for the eleventh time, and then you’ll meet someone. 

And at that point, you will no longer have the luxury of time. Most of your free nights will be swallowed up in couch time with your partner, arguing about what to watch. (Bye-bye to watching Jane the Virgin instead of the basketball game.) You can kiss goodbye to the freedom of not caring about anyone else. No longer will you be able to throw on your heels last-minute because you want to hit the club and hook up with a hot stranger. 

So, what do you do? You enjoy this single time. Enjoy being the person who orders whatever they want. Who spends her free time exactly as she wishes. Who doesn’t have to deal with anyone else’s problems. Take this opportunity to do lots of self-care and experience inner serenity, sis. Remember, there are lots of nights on which your coupled-up friends are secretly envying YOU. Spend time with your single friends, or make new ones: let them remind you of the fun bits of being single. Have fun! 


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