Squirting 101: a beginner's guide to female ejaculation and how to squirt
Vaginas are too often under-recognized for their abilities (ejaculation, for instance). Fact: squirting, AKA female ejaculation, is a bonafide thing. It’s not pee, and is, in fact, a sometimes-product of a vaginal arousal. Although the general consensus seems to be that the key to make squirting happen is to focus on g-spot stimulation, research suggests that in one’s mission to learn how to make someone squirt, it’s best to focus on the entire clitourethrovaginal (CUV) complex (which includes the clitoris, labia, and the front wall of the vagina where the g-spot is located). In other words: the best way to give pleasure is to first realize that it’s all connected, girl.
What is squirting and how does it happen?
In short, the liquid produced when someone who squirts is “juice” secreted by their Skene’s glands (said to be the female equivalent of the prostate). Although the purpose of the Skene’s glands is debated, I’d venture to say that—hello, they play a role in our pleasure.
So, naysayers be damned, devoting your time to learning how to squirt yourself, or how to make your partner squirt is a noble mission. That said, I always caution against putting pressure on yourself or on your partner to perform squirting (or any other sexual act), because it only works if all parties are relaxed. Also, if you can, avoid putting squirting on a pedestal. While some squirters may find their wet ’n wild orgasms enhanced, there is no orgasm hierarchy, and you’re not somehow a better, badder lover if you know how to make a pussy squirt. You’re simply here to learn and enjoy the journey, babes.
How to make yourself squirt (or how to make someone else squirt)
Here’s your baseline guide on how to make someone with a vagina squirt. Of course, I recommend first learning how to make your vagina squirt, just so you’re extra equipped. I’m a firm believer that you must know how to make yourself squirt if you wanna do it to someone else. Good news: the following instructions are great for a solo sesh too!
Prepare your surroundings
1) Get rid of distractions and interruptions by making sure you won’t be disturbed for at least a couple of hours—you always want to allow yourself plenty of time so there’s no stress.
2) Do away with any harsh lighting, perhaps opting instead for lamplight or candles—anything to create an environment that encourages relaxation and release.
3) You might light some incense or use a diffuser to tinge the air with your favorite essential oil. Lavender is known for its relaxation properties.
4) Consider waterproofing the area by laying several towels down or putting a waterproof sheet on the bed.
5) Get comfortable. Maybe start with a massage or whip out a trusty vibrator to get rid of some tension, encourage blood flow to the area, and relax yourself into the splash zone.
Locate that g-spot, girl
1) The g-spot is inside the vagina—on the upper vaginal wall (towards the stomach)—0.5 to 2 inches from the opening.
2) The famed g-spot is the only surface inside the vagina that isn't completely smooth-feeling. In fact, it’s been likened to the skin of a citrus fruit.
3) Don’t jump right to it, though. Take your time to fully observe and appreciate the whole vulva.
4) Open the upper labia gently, and explore.
5) I would recommend massaging and licking your lover before any real internal exploration begins, just to get them extra wet and engorged. This will make their g-spot more prominent too.
How to make that pussy squirt? Stimulate it.
1) Take your time—this is the main rule, if you haven’t noticed.
2) Use lots of lubricant to make sure there is no undue friction. Even if they're already aroused, this is a good idea. It’s supposed to feel good, the whole way through, after all. While silicone lubes can last longer, they tend to eat through silicone toys (and condoms), so you might opt for a water-based lube instead.
4) As you stimulate the g-spot and things get wetter and more aroused, the g-spot and labia will become even more engorged and look larger. You might keep gently stimulating the clit simultaneously. Try using the Buzzfeed AirVibe, the dual g-spot stimulation and clit suction is sure to get you there!
5) Do stay on the gentle side—this is not an activity that improves with rough touch.
How to make someone else squirt? Help them let go.
1) Communicate. If they're not giving feedback, ask for it. And then do what they say or adapt the pressure you’re applying and try something else to see if it works better. This advice applies to pretty much any sexual act.
2) Because female ejaculate comes out of the urethra, they may feel “like they need to pee.” Although not entirely intuitive, this is actually a sign that she’s getting closer. Because the initial sensation can be similar to needing to pee (at least for first-timers), the need to be pretty relaxed to let it all go.
3) If their vulva has swelled and grown in size, you might try pushing and relaxing both at once—this may sound complex, but it’s not really. Put another way, you want to enact a ‘come hither motion,’ gently but firmly against their g-spot, almost like tickling it.
4) Strange but true: while some people only ejaculate when their g-spot is stimulated, others only do it without penetration (so with clitoral and vulval stimulation). This is likely because the clit has both internal and external components, and when we stimulate the g-spot area, we're actually stimulating the internal clitoral body too. And everyone's bodies are different in how they experience and respond to pleasure, so make no mistake--we all have different pathways to pleasure and each one is valid.
Experiment with different positions
If you’re using a vibrator or dildo, you might try a cowgirl position with your partner to allow them to have total control over their movements, and make it easier for you to feel their g-spot.
Or, you might try doggy style, so they can more easily apply pressure on that playground of a frontal vaginal wall.
Have laid back, steamy, zero-pressure fun learning how to make your lover squirt, and only good can cum of it.