Relationships

Love and lust with a Cancerian

By Maya Khamala

The stars have wisdom to impart, and in matters of lust and love, we could all use it. While no one fits flawlessly into the dictates of their star sign—AKA their sun sign—(you’d need a full chart reading for that kind of accuracy, hellllo), it’s difficult to deny the hard truths running through the knowledge humans have amassed on each sign. Take Cancerians—those water crabs born under the sign of Cancer, between June 21 to July 22. If you’re in a relationship with one, there is value in understanding what makes your partner tick, how best to communicate with them, and the surest ways to please ‘em or tease 'em. What you do with that information will depend in part on what sign you were born under, but that’s a whole other thing, and our focus here is on your sexy Cancerian.

Here I offer you a few of the most saliently sensual Cancerian traits worth being aware of:

Love is king...and queen

Fact: Cancerians tend to be less preoccupied with sex than other signs, but it still means a lot to them. They generally place love higher up than sex, which can at times make it a challenge to understand what they want sexually. Thing is, love and sex are inextricably linked for most Cancerians, who use sex as a way to bond with their partner on a deeper level. Unsurprisingly, they're one of the signs least likely to have a one-night-stand. Without some level of emotional involvement and trust, they may be shy, or uncomfortable with gettin' down and dirty. Although it may happen sometimes, Cancerians aren’t as likely as others to have sex early in a relationship. After all, they tend to strive for passion, love, and deeper connection first. 

It follows, then, that the way to a Cancerian’s heart is genuine, demonstrated affection (TLC, baby). Cancers want to be feel how much they're loved and appreciated, and will appreciate it if you whisper sweet everythings into their ear, cook their favorite meal to show you care, or make them a mixtape. No effort is too cheesy or romantic. Ultimately, tuning into your Cancerian's emotions and giving them what they need without being asked is the best way to leave them feeling in love and lust with you.

Sex is generous…and sensitive

Cancerians, AKA Moon Children, are among the most attentive lovers in the galaxy. If you like sex best when it’s sensual and romantic, it’s possible you’ve met your match. We’re talkin’ heart-and-soul sex here. Regardless of how often they have sex, they’re bound to take the act seriously. Known for an in-built desire to look after the ones they love, a Cancerian’s goal is to please, and they’ll pull out all the stops to satisfy your needs. They’re sensitive and possess strong intuition—both in the bedroom and in life—which means they understand what makes you happy, and they’re patient enough to give it to you, no matter how long the foreplay takes. Sex with a Cancerian gets deeper and better over time as they learn more about you (and you about them).

The key to driving your Cancerian insane in bed is to never skip the affection. Candles and incense might bring the romance they crave, as would a massage or taking a bath together. Do what you can to make your Cancer partner feel warm, tranquil and spoiled rotten, and you’re bound to get the same in return. When it comes to seduction, Cancerians want somebody who will take the time to do it right.

Passion to spare…but not exxxtra kinky

Perhaps because love is the driving force behind many a Cancerian's sex life, they tend to gravitate more toward gentle sex. Cancerians may want to try something new and crazy occasionally, but this is not their default setting. They’re more likely to keep doing what works best so they can perfect their technique beyond all comprehension. Ultimately, however, Cancerians can be moody at times and they have different sides sexually depending on said moods: they might be intense and energetic in one session, and soft and loving the next. Mostly, they prefer to keep it simple, but they serrrriously make up for this by being one of the most passionate signs in the sky.

If you suggest something kinky, your Cancer partner will probably give it some thought, and maybe try it to see if they like it. Some Cancerians are more likely to respond well to kinks that place them in a submissive position—and which aren't too rough. They tend to be into role-play, some of it quite edgy (i.e., slave scenarios in which they are the slave). Cancers tend to like sexual positions that are creative or even downright inventive, so don’t be afraid to suggest new erotic poses in the sack. Your partner is up to the task at hand.

Great listeners…but not always the best talkers

Cancerians are often skilled listeners. They give all their attention to any situation, and tend to be a caring and compassionate presence when you need them most. Yet, as sensitive and emotional as they can be, they’re not always the clearest communicators about their own feelings, and aren't always vocal about their sexual desires, which can at times leave you grasping for a seemingly elusive understanding of the person before you!

The best way to engage your Cancerian lover in stronger communication is to take the time to clearly and openly discuss everything about them that turns you on. This will instill a sense of security and pleasure in your partner, and open them up to sharing more of themselves. While things may start off slow with a new Cancer love interest, they tend to heat up fast when bonafide intimacy and authentic exchanges become a key factor.

Lasting commitment…and attachment

Cancerians are among the most devoted signs in the zodiac. Once they love you, they’re bound to hold on tight. They tend toward loyalty and fidelity in the longterm, and will typically hesitate to break up a serious relationship—even when times get tough. On the flip-side, they can be clingy, and difficult to break up with or take space from, as emotional and domestic security is at the very top of their list. Much as it takes time for them to let you in, it can also take quite a long time for them to let you go or learn to give you space.

The good news is, if you’re looking for someone unafraid of commitment, you’ve probably found it in your Cancer partner. As far as overly clingy Cancerians go, the best way forward is always clear communication! If you’ve ended things but your Cancer still senses there is any hope of reconciling, don't toy with them by feeding false hopes. No matter what you feel, be real with them, be they your SO, or your soon-to-be ex.

Staunch loyalty…to a limit

As is obvious by now, Cancerians aren’t the most likely to jump into bed with someone else. One of the least promiscuous signs, many Cancers find cheating morally wrong (on a whole other level). Nonetheless, they're not always faithful, and that's a fact. While your loyal crab is known for putting others’ needs first, deep down they want nothing more than to receive that same level of dedication in return.

To keep your Cancerian engaged in your relationship (not that anyone can actually stop anyone else from cheating), don't skimp on the reassurance: never hesitate to show them they're appreciated. Any partner to a Cancer who is constantly criticizing or them or putting them down is likely to chase them away—be it into someone else’s arms or simply out of reach. FYI, when it comes to cheating, Cancers are probably more likely to cheat emotionally than other signs are. Emotionally needy as they can be, when necessary, Cancerians will seek support and comfort elsewhere.

Bottom line: treat your sensitive and sexy Cancerian well, and you’ll get back what you put in, tenfold. When there’s real chemistry, connection, and commitment, you're in for the romantic ride of your life, so buckle up.

As far as compatibility goes, no one does a better job of caring for a Cancer than another romance-driven Cancer, but Cancer’s sexual style also jives well with Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces, while Taurus and Virgo get honorable mentions. No matter what your sign, though, lusty love conquers all, babes, so if it's worth it, do the work (and work it).

Stay in the loop, bbOur top stories delivered to your inbox weekly