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Relationships

How to keep the romance alive while sharing a house with your parents over the holidays

By Maya Khamala

The holidays are upon us and so are visits with family—in all their storied glory. If you’re destined to spend the holidays in-house with the parental units, you and your partner may be feeling like romance (and sex) will need to take a backseat until the family fun is done. Maybe you’ve accepted this and are okay with it. Maybe you’re not so okay with it but understand that sacrifices must be made. Or, maybe your parents are ultra progressive and sex-positive and want you to feel comfortable expressing the full range of, um romantic feeling with your partner, even in their orbit, yet somehow you still feel a bit uncomfortable about it. Or—maybe you have zero issues with expressing love (’n even a little lust) in front of your fam, but your partner is not convinced. The scenarios are endless, honestly.

Whether you and your partner are spending the holidays together at your family’s place; together at their family’s place; splitting your time between the two; or spending the holidays apart with your respective families, there are ways to keep the romance alive. Trust me on this. 

Quiet vibes

In a scenario where you’re spending the holidays together at one or more of your parents’ homes, and presumably sharing a room (unless your parents are super old-fashioned), it might be torture lying side by side at night if you don’t feel comfortable helping one another, uh, relieve the tension. Besides, who doesn’t deserve a holiday climax (or ten)? Ok, so maybe the walls are thin. And maybe you don’t wanna invite your vibrator to the party because you know that everyone will giggle about it at breakfast. For starters, consider the kinkiness of using a gag so no uncontrollable moans manage to escape you. Second, consider the deliciously cutting edge phenomenon known as quiet vibes—an ultra-discreet class of vibrators that, you guessed it, are whisper-quiet. Still feel like good lovin’ needs to wait till 2022? 

A return to innocence

Sometimes, no matter what creatively devious plots you hatch to keep the fire alive while at your parents’ place for the holidays, it just ain’t in the cards. Maybe there are too many nosey kids around and not enough locks on the doors, and cat hair coating every surface. You tell me. If full-on sex is not an option even though your bodies are inhabiting the same space, get busy making romance by getting back to a little innocence. I’m talking ‘bout a little flirting (shameless or otherwise), physical contact and affection (shoulder rubs are always good, and so are hugs that let you inhale their skin), and, when you have a room to yourself, making out. Getting subtly sensual is typically way underrated, and yet if you look more closely, you’ll see that making out like teenagers deserves to be acknowledged for its profoundly arousing foreplay value—especially when extended over a few days or more without release. Mmmm.

Digital lovin’

If you and your partner are spending time with your families separately over the holidays, allow technology to come to the rescue, yeah? There are so many tools at your disposal, it ain’t even funny. From Zoom sex (with headphones, hellllo), to dirty pics, to sexting at super inappropriate moments (like while listening to your aunt discuss the true perpetrators of 9-11 and the perils of getting vaccinated), you’re free to take your pick. If you’re ready to go the Zoom or phone sex route but are worried your siblings will hear your end of the conversation and camp outside with a pint glass to your door stifling their laughter, consider some silent Zoom sex. It’s simple: just rely on the visuals rather than one another’s voices. And have a chat window going if need be. You can make it extra juicy by packing some super skimpy lingerie or other creative attire. Hawt.

Communication ’n compromise

In an ideal world you and your partner would both be on the exact same page about the holidays: you visit your family/families as an enviably united front, and in the wee hours of the mornin’, you make sweet ’n silent love till you can smell you father’s famous blueberry pancakes wafting through the house. But, it’s possible (and even likely), that while you’re totally down with gettin’ down in the family abode, your partner isn’t comfortable with it—or vice versa. Here’s an idea: before the holiday madness takes ahold, sit down and get honest with your partner about what you want, and what you envision for the holidays—and let them be honest too. From there, you can find a compromise that works for both you and your families. Plus, in case you missed the memo, strong communication is sexy AF in and of itself.

Bottom line: in my humble opinion, your first line of defense against a partnered holiday spent with family should be a hearty sense of humor, ‘nam sayin’? Keep a little perspective as you eat, drink, and get merry with those you love. And don’t lose sight of the lover sitting by your side (or awaiting your late night performance on Zoom). While you may not be able to claw at one another with your usual level of inhibition, sometimes slowing it down and watching your SO in the company of fam is all you need to take your romance to the next level. Is it hot in here, or has the turkey been cooking a little too long? 

 

Need some extra inspiration? Consider these 5 fun ‘n sexy holiday activities to help you blow off steam.

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