How to find your g-spot

Many people with vaginas have difficulty finding the hotly debated g-spot/urethral sponge (AKA the “female prostate”), because its size, dimension, and location vary from person to person. It’s about the size of a dime and is hella sensitive because it’s packed with bundles of nerve endings.

While there are still researchers out there who deny the g-spot's very existence, it does, in fact, exist. It’s just more elusive to some people, is all.

"Similar to an erect penis, the sponge gets bigger when aroused, so you can find it better when you’re turned on,” explains sex therapist Carolanne Marcantonio.

The following is a rough-and-tumble guide to help you locate your sweet g-spot. Warning: it might just be a game-changer.

What are you looking for, and where?

Good question. The g-spot is an erogenous zone that triggers/enhances sexual arousal. It can be described as a cylindrical tube of erectile tissue wrapped around a section of your urethra, behind your pubic bone. It is located 2-3 inches along the inner front wall of the vagina—if you're lying on your back, this means the top wall, about a third of the way up.

Since it swells during arousal, your g-spot changes texture and becomes firmer, making it easier to locate. It can be overwhelmingly pleasurable for many to have this area stimulated.

"When the G-spot is stimulated, it pushes against the mons pubis, which pushes against the clitoris and clitoral ligaments, which causes pleasure," says Marcantonio. "It’s all connected.”

Indeed, the g-spot can intensify pleasure, strengthen orgasms, and trigger squirting (AKA female ejaculation). While not everyone can squirt, and squirting is not an orgasm equivalent by any means, squirting does often occur during peak g-spot play. When stimulated in combination with the clitoris, one might experience what’s known as a blended orgasm. Really, the possibilities are endless!

Now that you know this elusive pleasure center does exist, here’s how you can go about finding it.

How to find (and explore) your g-spot

1. Masturbate

As previously mentioned, pleasure yourself for starters, since more blood rushing to the area will make the spot more prominent, and easier for roving fingers to graze or touch upon. Do what you need to do to relax, and open yourself to the pure pleasure of the moment. Use your hands, use a toy, watch porn, fantasize—as you see fit.

2. Feel around

Once you’re unmistakably turned on, insert your finger(s) 2-3 inches up, and feel around. While your g-spot may feel ‘rougher' or more ridged in texture than other parts of your vagina (something like an orange peel), that's not always the case. Since there's not necessarily a specific texture to feel for, the best way to find it is to experiment (and have fun while doing so).

3. “Come hither.”

Think you feel it? Curl your fingers as you would if you were beckoning someone with a “come hither” gesture, and proceed to rock them toward your belly button. Go slowly and see how it feels. If you (or a partner) are entering your vagina from behind, just keep the pressure pointing towards your belly.

4. Explore technique

It’s all an exploration, really, so there are no hard and fast rules for how you decide to stimulate your g-spot. Ultimately, you’ll want to breathe deeply and find what feels good (nay, mind-shattering) for you. Perhaps using that same “come hither,” hand position, you might use firm, deep pressure to stroke the area, a rhythmic circular motion, or more of an up-and-down technique. If you feel you need to pee, this is totally normal, given its close proximity to your urethra. Still, many find this sensation immensely delicious in the context of sexual stimulation. If it's feeling good, increase the rhythm, and create more friction as you (possibly) travel toward your big O of the day. Of course, if you don't reach orgasm, but it feels amazing anyway, that's also worth celebrating. Getting to know your body better is an ongoing voyage of delight, baby.

5. Try a g-spot toy

If you have trouble locating your g-spot (or even if you don’t), try using a sex toy that’s angled upward and specially designed to hit it, like the Bellesa Thrust, which stimulates the g-spot with a natural thrusting motion, and a ring of swirling beads at the base of its shaft for good measure. Bonus: it stimulates your clit too, for the blended orgasm of your wildest dreams. Then there’s the AirVibe, a genius clit suction and g-spot vibe combo in a super discreet and adorable clamshell case (it travels well). Or, you might go with the Diskreet Thrust, which has been described as “the power of the iconic Thrust paired with the discreteness of the legendary AirVibe.” No matter what g-spot sex toy you go with, you're in for a hot ’n fresh treat.

6. Try different positions

With or without a partner, you may want to try different positions on for size. While again—there are no one-size-fits-all approaches here—typically, positions that give you more control over your movements (i.e. cowgirl) or allow for deeper penetration (i.e. doggy style) will increase your chances of screaming g-spot bliss.

Bottom line: It can take a lot of time and practice to find your g-spot. But keep exploring your body and experimenting with what feels good, and you really can't go wrong. Not everyone will feel the same sensations, and some people may not orgasm from g-spot stimulation, but all consensual sexploration is bound to bring you that much closer to self-actualized euphoria (it’s the journey, not the destination!). Also: there is no orgasm hierarchy, so stop pressuring yourself already. You heard it here first.

Yum. Happy deep diving! <3