From tease to please: mastering foreplay

While it's 2025 and most of us understand that foreplay is absolutely central to sex (there's no real distinction, when it comes to good sex!), many among us still treat it like the warm-up lap before the “real” event, or worse, like the tedious loading screen before the main feature. 

But here’s the thing: foreplay isn’t just the appetizer—it’s the whole damn feast. It’s where anticipation brews, bodies awaken, and that electric hum builds into something you’ll both be hella glad you didn’t rush through. No to mention, many of the acts commonly characterized as "foreplay" happen to result in women's orgasms more often than other acts, thus closing the famed orgasm gap. 

Still, let’s be honest: foreplay—like anything—can get a little predictable. A few kisses, a grope or two, and suddenly someone’s trying to fast-forward straight to penetration and/or climax. Yawn. Masturbation ruts are also a thing.

If you’ve ever thought, “We could spice this up,” you’re probably right. Because foreplay is an art—and with the right mix of toys, lube, creativity, and attitude, it can go from predictable to unforgettable. From same-old to downright artful.

Here we offer you 10 titillating tips for deepening your relationship to foreplay (and the sex to match):

1. Upgrade: from hands to hardware

Fact: your fingers and tongue are timeless classics. But why stop there? A well-placed vibrator during make-out sessions can flip the script instantly. Try a small bullet against the inner thigh, nipples, or even pressed between your bodies as you grind. Think of toys as your backup dancers: they enhance the show, spotlight the main event, and keep the energy high AF.

2. Lube isn’t extra—it’s integral

If you’re still treating lube like an optional accessory, consider this your wake-up call. A silky, slippery slide makes everything feel better—for everyone. There is no substitute for a good quality water-based lube. Pro tip: lube isn’t just for penetration. It makes massage strokes glide smoother, and toy play way more comfortable.

3. Kiss it like you mean it

When was the last time you made out like teenagers in the backseat of a car? Long, messy, exploratory kissing is criminally underrated. Take your time. Bite lips, suck tongues, whisper filth between kisses. Why not rediscover the art of kissing as its own form of foreplay, rather than just an on-ramp to sex?

4. Sensory overload

Blindfolds. Ice cubes. Feathers. A silk scarf dragged across bare skin. Engaging the senses heightens anticipation and forces your partner (with consent, of course) to surrender to the unknown. A single melting ice cube trailing down a spine can cause a reaction just as intense as a hand between the legs. Play with temperature, texture, and sound—your imagination is the sexiest toy in town.

5. Slow is the new fast

Foreplay isn’t a speedrun. Tease. Deny. Build. Pull back when your partner gets too close, then circle back with something gentler. This push-pull dynamic transforms foreplay into a delicious power game. The slower you go, the more explosive the eventual release.

6. Roleplay and fantasy

Sometimes the hottest foreplay isn’t physical—it’s psychological. Slip into a character: a strict professor, a seductive stranger, even an aggressive cop is fair game in the realm of fantasy. Foreplay can start hours earlier with flirty texts, whispered suggestions, or a daring challenge. Anticipation is the best aphrodisiac there is, and playing with personas can keep things verrrry interesting.

7. Worship the whole body

Spoiler: erogenous zones don’t begin and end at the genitals. The inner arms, the back of the knees, ears, scalp—these areas are treasure maps just waiting with bated breath to be explored and loved up. Use your lips, your nails, your breath. Turn your partner’s body into a playground where every inch gets attention.

8. Double up with toys

Two toys at once? Absolutely. Imagine a suction toy on the clit while a wand massages thighs or stomach. Or a cock ring paired with a stroker. Layering sensations can make the body short-circuit in the best possible way. Don’t be shy about mixing and matching until you both find a combination that makes you see far-off constellations.

9. Oral, elevated

Oral is already a foreplay MVP, but with a little imagination you can totally level it up. Consider flavored lube or edible oils. Or incorporate your hands—stroking, teasing, cupping. Switch up the rhythm: fast, slow, light, intense. Bonus points if you maintain eye contact for that intoxicating mix of vulnerability and power.

10. Write your own script

The best foreplay is never just physical—it’s deeply personal. Create a “menu” of fantasies you’d each like to try, from PG to X-rated, and surprise each other with selections now and then. Maybe today’s special is “mutual massage with toys” or “five minutes of hands-free teasing.” Play it like a game, and suddenly foreplay feels endlessly sexy: outcome unknown.

Takeaway: foreplay isn’t filler—it’s the whole point. When you stretch it, savor it, and use your imagination a little (or a lot), it becomes the sex itself. The goal isn’t to get through foreplay, but to revel in it. Think of it as teasing with purpose: building so much delicious tension that when you finally do move on, it feels less like an ending and more like an eruption.

So, the next time you’re tempted to rush to it along, maybe don’t. Foreplay deserves its own standing ovation. Take your time, push boundaries, and remember: the better the tease, the louder the please, and the sweeter the release. You heard it here first, babe. <3