Sexual Fantasies 101

First things first: everyone has sexual fantasies. Yep, everyone. Whether yours are as soft as a passionate kiss in the rain or as wild as being worshipped by a leather-clad cult, sexual fantasies are basically the private cinema of your libido. Think of them as mental playdates where your desires get to run free, unrestricted, and unhinged by real-world logistics, morals, or messiness.

Why exactly do our brains conjure these steamy little dreamscapes in the first place? Psychologically speaking, fantasies help us explore our desires in a safe, no-strings-attached fashion. They’re like a pressure valve for our erotic energy, giving us room to play with power, identity, and taboo or forbidden fantasies without actually crossing lines we wouldn’t in real life. Just because you fantasize about something doesn’t mean you actually want it to happen—it might just hit the right nerve in your imagination. It might even help you to work through old trauma, or sexual trauma in particular. Bottom line: fantasy isn't about realism, it’s about bonafide release.

Common fantasies we have

There are a few fantasies that show up again and again across genders, cultures, and sexual orientations—because when it comes to imagination, we’re more alike than not. Let’s break down a few of these greatest hits, shall we?

1. Power play

The dominance and submission fantasy involves one person taking control while the other surrenders it, whether it's through bondage, spanking, or just a commanding tone of voice. Why it's hot: it lets you explore trust, intensity, and sensation in a way that's deeply primal—and profoundly satisfying. It’s usually less about pain or humiliation and more about surrender, permission, and a hot little tug-of-war between pleasure and power. Consent, of course, should always be at the forefront of these sexplorations. Try out our flogger and other bondage toys to safely dive into this dynamic, adding spice and structure to your power play.

2.  Roleplay

Ever wanted to be a naughty nurse, a stringently strict professor, or a total stranger at a bar? Roleplay gives you permission to step outside your everyday identity and embody a whole new character, thereby turning sex into a stage for performance—the best kind. You might go all out and don a full costume, or simply become someone else by changing the tone of your voice and indulging a little dirty talk. This type of play can bring an enticingly fresh edge to long-term relationships—or just spice up a Tuesday night with a little creative foreplay, 'nam sayin'?

3. Group sex

Whether it’s a ménage à trois or a full-on bacchanal, many people fantasize about sex involving more than two bodies. This is about variety, being desired, and/or the sheer intensity of sensational overload. Even if you never want to do it IRL, this can be a juicy mental playground of abundance and attention. You might choose to actually make it happen in a safe environment, by organizing your fantasy with care and attention. Or, you might simply let your brain take you there while masturbating (ie.. close your eyes and imagine getting passed around on a pool table, from one guy to the next in a bar). Or, you and your partner might buy into the fantasy together, perhaps investing in a double dildo. The dream is yours.

4. Voyeurism and exhibitionism

Some of us fantasize about watching others get it on—or about being watched. There’s a serious thrill in the taboo, a titillation in being seen at our most exposed and vulnerable, or in seeing what’s normally kept private. This is about teasing boundaries, flirting with danger, and turning curiosity into arousal. Again this can be remain fully in the realm of your mind's eye, or maybe, after very careful consideration, you and your partner, in all your exhibitionist glory, decide to explore a little outdoor sex. As far as watching others goes, be sure to avoid breaking any laws by ensuring the consent of anyone you choose to watch. Or, get some quality porn on the tube.  

5. Being worshipped (or worshipping)

This one’s about being adored, admired, and pleasured like you’re the center of the goddamn universe—or doing the same to someone else. This might look like sensual massage, verbal praise, or simply focusing completely on one partner’s pleasure. It’s a fantasy rooted in deep validation, and it can feel transcendent, tender, and hot. as. hell. You might add in a little roleplay, a little BDSM (rope anyone?), a little kink (how about a blindfold?), or, just keep it pure 'n simple. It's your fantasy, after all.

Sexual fantasies and guilt

Here’s the kicker: a lot of people—especially women and gender-diverse sexplorers—have been taught to feel bad about their fantasies. We’re talking full-on shame spirals triggered by even thinking about something kinky, “weird,” or taboo. That shame doesn’t come from within—it’s social conditioning, served cold from religion, pop culture, and patriarchal programming. But your fantasies aren’t something to be “fixed”—they’re part of your erotic intelligence. When you allow yourself to embrace what turns you on, you’re not only reclaiming your pleasure and your power—you’re actively dismantling the BS that’s been holding it hostage.

Talking to your partner about your fantasies

Thinking about integrating a fantasy into your real-life sex life? Amazing—just make sure you talk about it first. Open, honest, and judgment-free communication is everything. Consent, respect, and patience are the magic trio here; your partner may not be into every fantasy you have, but they might also be more open than you think. 

You might even use a toy or two to break the proverbial ice—the KeyVibe Secret Panty Vibrator, for instance, is designed to be indistinguishable from a car key. What better way to experiment with power games and public foolery at the same time, with ultra discretion, to boot? Fancy restaurant, anyone? And then there's the Strapless strap-on, which lets you have g-spot orgasms while pegging your partner—what better way to roleplay than by switching up your, um, equipment? 

Whatever you do, try not to spring a new fantasy mid-stroke—pick a relaxed moment, stay curious, and keep it sexy and collaborative. Your shared erotic world is expansive—sometimes all it takes is a little bravery and a lot of lube.

Whether your fantasy is mild, wild, or somewhere in between, give yourself permission to explore it—shame-free, guilt-free, and with a whole lotta lovin' curiosity. Happy treasure trails to all. <3