Culture

6 ways to celebrate Masturbation May

By Maya Khamala

Last year for Masturbation May, we straight up broke the record for the most women masturbating on May 28th: we had 346K women rubbing one out on the same day! If that’s not downright orchestral, I don’t know what is. 

Our aim this year? You guessed it! With you and all your friends giving us a, um, hand, we know we can outdo those numbers.

Masturbation May: the origin story

Masturbation May? Never heard of it, you say. But though it may not be the most famed occasion on the calendar, May has enjoyed this special status since all the way back in ’95 when the Good Vibrations sex shop in San Francisco declared May 7, 1995 the first-ever Masturbation Day as a protest again the firing of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who was sacked by President Clinton the year before, simply for suggesting that masturbation be included in the sex ed school curriculum. 

But Good Vibrations’ community service didn’t end there: from 1998 to 2003, they organized an annual ‘Masturbate-A-Thon,’ an event in which participants masturbated in each others’ presence to raise money for charity, raise awareness, and dispel taboos about self-pleasure. The highly regulated event was eventually discontinued due to a range of persistent challenges (i.e., unwelcome voyeurism), but its spirit lives on!

Because one can never have too many masturbatory epiphanies (literally speaking, anyway), Masturbation Day has since been expanded to include the entire month of May, dontcha know.

Masturbation May, AKA International Masturbation Month, is the inevitable modern-day manifestation of all previous efforts to empower would-be masturbators—while also destigmatizing closet masturbators. And while there’s been undeniable progress, the work isn’t over. Women, for instance, are still less comfortable with masturbation than men are—an unsavory phenomenon known as the masturbation gap. As if the orgasm gap wasn’t enough, am I right?

So, in the spirit of claiming and fully inhabiting your pleasure, I hereby offer you 6 ways to celebrate Masturbation May in 2022.

1. Make a schedule

Why not use Masturbation May as an excuse to celebrate daily? At least for a month, anyway. If you’re overcome with ideas on how to best celebrate the month, this one’s most certainly for you. Courtesy of LA Weekly, you might break down your week as follows:

- Make Me Moan Mondays

- Twat Tickling Tuesdays

- Wet Dream Wednesdays

- Thumb-Fucking Thursdays

- Full-Frontal Fridays

- Sit on It Saturdays

- Someone Get Me Some Gatorade Sundays

Of course, you have full creative license, here, so see fit to impose your own meaning on any given day—no need to stick with the alliteration! Take nothing but pleasure ’n pride from your Anal Mondays, Vibrating Tuesdays, Porn Hump Days, Clitoral Thursdays, Cyber sex Fridays, Tantric Saturdays, and Fantasy Sundays. Your filthy mind is truly the limit.

2. Masturbate…organically

While body-safe, nontoxic sex toys should be on everyone’s agenda, you might consider upping the ante by adding eco-friendly to your list of criteria. Besides, why not give a nod of thanks and acknowledgement to Mother Earth before you get your rocks off? I’m willing to bet that doing so will only intensify your climax. This might involve choosing toys made with sustainable materials like biolene, glass, or stainless steel; opting for paraben-free vegan latex condoms; or choosing to watch porn that’s ethically made.

3. Safely experiment with household items

‘Safely' is the operative word here, my friends. Resist the urge to stick a random cucumber up there—unless it’s well-cleaned, organic, and you put a condom on it first. And, definitely resist the urge to make your own sex toys at home to avoid unwittingly exposing yourself to unwanted bacteria or chemicals. Instead, experiment safely with new sensations by playing naughty with your shower-head, or rubbing up against a stack of pillows to stimulate your clit (a great way to switch from the common missionary masturbation position).

4. Practice Tantric masturbation

Chances are, you’ve heard of Tantric sex. Whether you have or not, there are plenty of great reasons to try it, and many of those same reasons apply to Tantric masturbation. In short, Tantra is a set of an ancient spiritual practices rooted in Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jain traditions dating back thousands of years. In the Western world, the term is most often used to describe a sacred, mindful approach to sex and pleasure. Think of Tantric masturbation as a form of meditative self-love. Climaxing is not the goal, as exploration is the entire point. Ultimately, the longer you can explore without reaching orgasm, the more energy you build up. Check out these Tantric masturbation tips.

5. Let loose those fantasies

Enjoy some role play—with yourself. You don’t need a partner to play games or indulge fantasies. Only you, in your heart of hearts knows what truly drives you wild. Maybe you need to close your eyes and imagine you’re being watched. Or that you’re being served by multiple partners. Or maybe you need to imagine that the fate of the planet rests on your ability to orgasm—or to keep masturbating without orgasm. Our minds are complex beasts. Sometimes we just need to let them take us where we want to go. Take it to the next level by wearing the sexiest outfit you’ve got—all for you and only you.

6. Choose your ‘fighter’

Because Masturbation May is truly the gift that keeps on giving, be sure to take advantage of our “Choose your fighter” promo! It’s simple: you choose your ‘fighter,’ AKA your fave toy from our delicious collection, and we'll send you a special gift to ‘prepare for battle,’ baby. Because we love you.

Whether or not you need an excuse to stick your hands down your panties, remember this: playing with yourself isn’t just fun (and free!). An orgasm a day also comes with a whole slew of undeniable health benefits including better sleep, a stronger immune system, a detox effect, and even a longer lifespan. 

So what are you waiting for? Masturbation May awaits your deepest pleasures. <3

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