Culture

7 tips for dating while traveling

By Maya Khamala

Timeless truth: there’s nothing quite like the romance and excitement of dating while traveling. Not to mention, if you’re traveling solo, meeting people to hang out with is an undeniable bonus. The good news is that there are many fantastic ways to meet a hot date on the road (or in the air, if turns out). 

For one thing, dating apps—once upon a time considered ridiculous/embarrassing/taboo—have become the ultimate travel essential for single and/or solo wanderers. While it does have its limitations, and there are undoubtedly ways of meeting would-be dates in person (imagine that), facts are facts: dating apps can be an extra easy and efficient way to plug into a local scene you might not have otherwise had access to. 

Ultimately, whether you’re seeking a love story for the ages, or just a super sexy vacation fling, you’ve got options, baby. The trick, though, to hawt rather anxiety inducing travel-dating is in knowing how to be smart, safe ’n selective. After all, we live in a world in which dating safety is crucial even on a good day, and even on your home turf, but throw in a foreign environment with potential language barriers, cultural differences, and/or varying expectations around gender and sexual orientation, and it can become a lot more complex.

While much depends on where you’re traveling, whether you’re solo or with friends, and countless other factors, do consider the following 7 basic tips for dating while in transit!

1. Know what you want and be clear about it.

When it comes to dating in an unfamiliar environment (with possible language barriers), it’s extra important to state your intentions clearly—be it in your dating profiles(s), or in-person, to that handsome stranger from the local café who winks at you every time he walks in. Is it a tour guide you’re after? A dinner companion? A language teacher? A cross-cultural romance? A lover who’s cool with your poly ways? You’re a lot more likely to get what you're looking for if you’re up-front about it. As well, be sure any dating apps you use are a) commonly used in the country you’re in, and b) actually aligned with your goals. No-strings-attached, for instance, may necessitate a different platform than serious business only—or friends only. Remember: if you aren’t down to hook up, say so, and don’t be shy about using your phone translator to communicate clearly if it comes to that.

2. Respect customs.

When it comes to dating, cultural norms vary widely around the world. To stay out of trouble, always be sensitive to local customs around dating (even if you don't agree with them) and remain aware of what’s socially acceptable when it comes to public displays of affection. Unfortunately, this applies even more so to the LGBTQIA+ community, as roughly 70 countries happen to criminalize homosexuality. FYI, Tinder issues a travel alert when the app is opened in a country where LGBTQIA+ status is considered a crime, and the user must actively opt in to show up in these locations. Bottom line: familiarize yourself with the laws of wherever it is you’re planning to visit (these maps are a good place to start).

3. Safely first, always.

Whether you're swiping on your phone or lingering out by the fishing boats so you can get a better view of the fresh daily catch, never forget common sense, instinct, and clear boundaries are critical. If you’re using apps, you can always unmatch the second you feel uncomfortable or change your mind. Remember you don’t owe anyone an explanation—ever—and this goes triple for strangers. Also, no matter how cool, on point, or ideally suited to your desires a match or in-person love interest may be, never share exactly where you’re staying—vague details are more than enough.

4. Do a little recon.

When communicating with a match, be as direct as you can and politely firm. While it’s true that meeting in person is the best way to truly get a sense of a person, there is zero shame in collecting information beforehand so you feel more at ease. Never hesitate to ask for last names, more photos, or links to social media profiles—and then shamelessly internet stalk them if you want a more holistic sense of who you're getting into, nam sayin’? This approach has the added bonus of an inbuilt filtration system: anyone who refuses probably has something to hide. If it eases your mind to have a phone or video call before meeting, don’t hesitate to ask for that too. 

5. Be practical.

If traveling for more than fifteen minutes to meet your date seems either unsafe or like a huge chore (or both), keep app location settings within a five-mile radius. Besides, if you’re only around for a brief period, time is a finite resource. If you’re both on the same page about what you want, don’t let online communication drag on for days—ideally, you should exchange numbers within a couple of hours/scrolls down your screen. Hot tip: WhatsApp is the most commonly used texting app across the world and works across operating systems as well as on wifi, so be sure to download it if you haven’t already. 

6. Be first-date smart.

Be sure to meet for the first time in a busy, public place during the daytime, not far from where you’re staying (think coffee in the market or a stroll in a busy park). Note: if your date tries to coerce you into meeting at their home, that's what's known as a red flag. If you opt to go for drinks, know your limits and never take your eyes off your drink (sadly important). Carry enough money to pay your own way and get back to your hostel/hotel/airbnb. Whatever you do, never bow to pressure to do anything you don’t want to do, or go anywhere you don't want to go. If the date feels off,  bow out immediately. Important: always make sure a third party knows where you are. If you’re traveling alone, leave a note in your room indicating where you’re going and who with, or tell the desk clerk. Alternatively, shoot a text with your date’s contact details, (or your live geolocation) to a friend back home.

7. Have a happy hook-up.

If all goes swimmingly and you’re planning to hook up in the course of your vacation, remember— ongoing consent is everything — on the first date, as well as on any that follow! If you brought your thoughtfully packed kit of travel toys and if it definitely feels right, don’t be afraid to whip them out and share them with your lucky date. And always travel with the essentials: condoms, lube and toy cleanser, any contraceptives you happen to use—and anything else that you feel is required for a positive (nay, fantastic) sexual experience.

When you travel, anything is possible, but one thing’s for sure: if you focus on making meaningful connections, having heartfelt fun, and experiencing your surroundings in a deeper way, you’re sure to return home with lasting memories, steamy stories, and maybe even a new long-distance lover to show for it.

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