9 sexy New Year's resolutions to help you start 2023 off just right
Making New Year’s resolutions has always been about starting fresh by setting goals—most often personal ones involving healthy eating, exercise, and countless other areas of self-improvement. This year, why not commit some of your shiny New Year's goals to cultivating your inner sex goddess?
Whether you’re in a relationship, dating with exuberance, or single and proud, consider adding any or all of the following sensuous resolution ideas (or variations thereof) to your own personal womanifesto for 2023.
1. Practice mindful sex
Maybe you’re in a longterm couple and want to experience sex on a deeper level with your SO, or maybe you’re in a rut and are looking for ways to “spice it up.” Either way, a more mindful approach to sex in the form of Tantric sex and/or Tantric masturbation may just be the path for you. Tantra is all about taking the urgent, climax-centric “point A to point B” mentality out of the equation and learning to breathe your way into and out of all pleasure—organically.
2. Schedule sex
While Hollywood tells us that spontaneous sex is 1000% a thing, and that passion is this ever-present, soul-shattering entity that can’t be shackled—and which certainly can’t be planned in advance—this is patently unrealistic, and untrue. As hot and bothered as your partner/lover/love interest may make you, life is often too busy for our own good, and there comes a time when it may be necessary to schedule sex sessions as a way of making the time to work it, own it, get it. Know this: there is zero shame in scheduling sex—actually, it’s hot AF to carve out time and space for something and someone you want in your life.
3. Work on your sexual communication skills
This (not) just in: the most important ingredient in a satisfying sex life is strong communication. This goes for both you and your lover, since, as always, it takes two to tangle tongues. While it may not come naturally at first, cultivating the ability to discuss sex openly with your partner is everything. Being able to express appreciation when your SO does something right is just as important as being able to hit pause if something feels off or not okay. Hot tip: faking orgasms is not an option. Similarly, being able to ask your partner what they like and don’t like is all part and parcel of a healthy sexual relationship. If your partner has trouble talking about sex, you might try leading by example; if one or both of you is really struggling, you might consider visiting a sex therapist as a couple.
4. Explore something new on the regular
While there should never be needless pressure to constantly try new and ever-crazier feats in bed, sometimes deviating from your tried and true track can be just what the good goddess ordered. Whether you’re coupled or single, this could take the form of a weekly/monthly commitment to exploring a new fantasy, position, and/or room of the house. Maybe you’ve always wanted to watch porn with your SO, or get it on in the shower. Or maybe you and your lover have flirted with the idea of dirty talk but have yet to really go there. Maybe it’s role play, bondage, anal sex, or hell, even a threesome. If you’re partnered, get your consensual communication on, and consider making a list of things you want to try together. If you're flying solo, all you gotta do is get creative.
5. Make out more—spontaneously
While we’ve already established that hot and satisfying sex is not inherently spontaneous, too often, couples get into an ‘all or nothing’ mindset, where full-on sex is the only form of erotic possibility available to them. How sad, when kissing, necking, fondling, and dry humping one another while cooking dinner or watching a movie are all just a touch and a breath away. Spontaneous (and consensual) displays of sexual desire and affection—AKA making out—can make all the difference in the world, fostering meaningful intimacy in the day-to-day, even when sex itself isn’t on the menu. Want to up the ante? Try adding cuddling and massage to your repertoire too.
6. Eat sexy
While you may not see an immediate link between your diet and the sex you're having, changes to your diet can, in fact, help provide the hormonal support necessary to improving your sex life. From going organic as a way of reducing your exposure to hormone-tweaking pesticides, to eating more leafy greens for detox and overall balance, to integrating aphrodisiacs like dark chocolate and oysters, never underestimate the positive powers of food. Also, since alcohol can dehydrate you and make you less sexually sensitive, consider cutting back on the booze as well.
7. Sleep sexy
There is a bidirectional relationship between the sleep we're getting and the sex we're having: while sex can contribute to overall better health, even helping you sleep better, sleeping for longer periods has been linked to higher sexual desire and arousal. Moral of the story? Don’t be one of those people who proudly runs on 4 hours of snooze-time a night and washes it all back with ample caffeine. It does catch up with you, and it will certainly affect your sex life at some point, if it hasn't already. Try getting quality rest so you can be the enthused/energized/ripe ‘n ready sex fiend that you are.
8. Have an orgasm a day
While apples do a body good, there is ample research to suggest that having an orgasm a day really might keep the proverbial doctor at bay. Have one with a partner, a sex toy, or your sweet self—whatever the moment calls for, baby. Think of orgasms as superpowers that can help you manage pain (from menstrual cramps to chronic conditions), boost your mood and cognitive functioning, strengthen your immune system, and help balance your hormones—to name just a few.
9. Practice erotic hygiene
“The erotic life, don’t we want it?” asks embodiment educator Stefana Serafina. Mourning “a world where flat screens are the way we reach for connection and knowledge, and productivity is the silent ruler,” she calls erotic hygiene “truly essential.” Cultivating erotic hygiene goes well beyond your sex life—it’s about nurturing an open, erotic, sensual, connected, and deeply embodied experience of yourself, and of the world, in the day-to-day. This might include: refusing to rush, taking the alone time you know you need, acknowledging addiction to substances and behaviors alike, practicing emotional honesty with yourself, carving out time to be creative (or do nothing at all), and just practicing self-love—in whatever form you require. All of the above can bring you that much closer to inhabiting your true erotic body—the one that opens you to all the pleasures (sexual and otherwise) life has to offer.
Happy 2023 all. One love. <3
