Anal Training 101
As Vice so eloquently put it, “Anyone who's gone on an anal penetration journey knows you can’t just jump fist-first into a hole.”
Amen to that.
Asses are fantastic, don’t you agree? Not only are they hawt to look at, but they’re also brimming with nerve endings, which means anal sex can produce some incredible orgasms—you heard it here first. But, as mind-blowing as anal play/anal sex can be, the fact of the matter is that butts need to be warmed up first, because unlike vaginas, they don’t self-lubricate. This is not to say vaginas don’t need to be warmed up first too, but this is extra true of butts!
After all, one of the main reasons people are hesitant to try anal—besides the poop factor—is that it may hurt. But here’s the thing: when you’re properly prepared, anal shouldn’t hurt!
That’s where anal training comes in.
Um, what is anal training?
Anal training is pretty much what it sounds like: taking the time, care, and necessary steps to help get your anus prepared (and delighted!) to receive anal penetration. How? By gradually stretching it with fingers and/or toys, of course. Training can be done solo or with partners and can be an incredibly erotic experience in and of itself. Not to mention, stretching your limits—so to speak—can really take power play or dom-sub relationships to the next level, if that happens to be your jam.
If you're new to anal, you might be wondering why on earth you would want to stretch your asshole. But the thing is, no stretching you do will be permanent. Your ass is designed to stretch, and still bounce back to its original shape. Anal “stretching” simply refers to anything that gradually stretches the anus to allow you to go from a single finger to multiple fingers, say, or a toy, or a penis. That said, in the world of kink, the term often applies to more extreme stretching, above and beyond the degree required for run-of-the-mill anal sex, sometimes with the goal of taking on toys or objects with diameters of 2.5+ inches, or even a partner’s fist. Regardless of your eventual goals, today’s focus is geared more toward the beginner.
If you’re brand spankin’ new to the pleasures of anal, your approach to training will be somewhat different and require somewhat more patience than if you’re already acquainted with basic anal play, but the principles are the same.
Anal training techniques
Disclaimer: the decision to have anal sex should never be spur of the moment, coerced, or worse, an “accident” your partner surprises you with. If you’re at all unsure about whether you want to explore anal, your muscles are going to tense up, making penetration more difficult and painful, and no one wants that.
If/when you decide you’re super into it, here are a few tips for how to approach anal training—whether partnered or solo.
1. Get clean.
For most people, having a poop (if needed), and following up with a shower is all that’s needed here. If you’d like to get extra squeaky clean, you might look into enemas, but this is not typically necessary, and is rather a matter of preference. Feeling comfortable and at peace with your ass and all its healthy functions is a required element of any anal play. It’s not a sure thing that poop will make an appearance at the party—but if it is, that’s okay.
2. Get aroused via touch.
Massaging the outside of the anus is a good start. When it comes to ass-anything, lube is always your best friend, and as far as fingers go, you might use latex gloves if you want to be able to quickly move from anal stimulation to vaginal stimulation. If you’re with a partner, analingus AKA rimming can be pure ecstasy—if your partner is squeamish about it, they might try using a dental dam.
3. Get into position.
Once you're turned on, and feeling good—maybe you’ve even had a vaginal and/or clitoral orgasm already, something that will help relax your muscles even more—it’s time to venture forth. Start by making sure you’re in a comfy position—laying on your side with knees bent may allow you easier access than laying on your back, but everyone is different, so find what feels right for you.
4. Use xxxcessive lube.
No matter what you will be using to first enter your ass, be sure to use AMPLE lube, even to the point of seeming excessive: it bears repeating that asses do not self-lubricate. Lube should be on your toy/fingers as well as on the outside of your anus. As well, if you feel comfortable, use a lubed finger to put some lube inside your asshole before anything else goes in there. Also, never be afraid to hit pause on anything ass-associated and apply more lube. For the ultimate anal experience use the Bellesa water-based lubricant.
5. Ease into your asshole with a small toy.
At this point, you’ll want to slowly and carefully enter your ass (or have your partner do it) with a small toy, like a butt plug. The Bellesa Anal Training Kit is an excellent choice for beginners and enthusiasts alike, as it comes with multiple different sized butt plugs, leaving you in complete control of your anal experience. While you might start with a lubed finger or two rather than a toy, butt plugs are convenient because you can leave them in while getting busy in other ways.
So, take a deep breath and begin pushing the plug inside—very slowly. If it takes five minutes, it takes five minutes. If it feels stuck or difficult to insert, take it out and add more lube. Once the butt plug is inside you, leave it there for a while. You did it, you sex fiend, you—you’re officially in training! You might at this point masturbate, have sex (perhaps exploring the delicious sensation of double penetration), or simply go about your day until you feel like taking it out.
As with most things in life, the more you practice, the easier it’ll become.
6. Remove the toy.
To remove the toy, take more deep breaths and enter a non-rushed mindset similar to the one you used on the way in. Add more lube to the outside of your asshole. Focus on relaxing your sphincter muscles and unclenching the toy. Why? Because removing a plug out can feel just as intense as inserting it, plus, the end taper isn’t usually as gradual as the taper at the tip.
7. Graduate to the next “level.”
Once a toy feels comfortable moving in and out of your ass, you’re ready to move up a size—if that interests you. Always keep in mind, however, that the increase should be gradual. Eventually, if it’s your goal, your ass will become accustomed not only to staying open enough to receive, but also to the in-and-out motion of anal sex. Once you’re ready to take on a cock or a dildo, just as with butt plugs, you’ll want to train yourself by gradually progressing in size, and from simple insertion to actual in-an-out sex. But no matter how experienced you get, never forego the aforementioned excessive amounts of lube!
Class dismissed. You may now venture forth and put your anal training knowledge to practical use. Happy training!
